REPORT: Bruno Mars Is Actually a Dog
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
According to a recent investigative report by the Chicago Sun Times, the singer Bruno Mars is actually a Siberian Husky named Miles. The pup has apparently been masquerading as the “human” recording artist since 2008.
"I was shocked," says Keith McDowell, the report’s author. McDowell alleges that the dog has used advanced auto-tune technology to transform his barks and yelps into Mars’ smooth tenor vocals.
"I bought the CDs and went to the concerts. Had I known he was just yet another puppy using auto-tune, I might not have," says McDowell. "He got to play the Super Bowl. Let that sink in for a second. I’m glad I blew the lid off this thing once and for all."
At press time, Miles was not taking any questions, this according to his “newly-hired” attorney Clint Barksman.
+35° 42’ 29.81”, +138° 25’ 32.80”